March 2011
7 posts
Mar 16th
13 notes
I could really use a collection of painfully...
Mar 16th
2 notes
My new cellmate's name is "Scarcock"
Kinda missing “Claw” right about now.
Mar 16th
4 notes
Dropping Alex Blagg's name doesn't go nearly as...
Mar 16th
1 note
This is what I get for daring Nick Douglas to take...
Mar 16th
1 note
I could really use one of Rex's creepy hugs right...
Just sayin’.
Mar 16th
Mar 16th
19 notes
October 2008
6 posts
I better be released before the next Media...
Yes, the rumors are true, I am in jail for doing unseemly things on a subway train with a wiffle ball bat. I have been incarcerated for two days now. You can contribute to my bail fund at brianvanisinjail@gmail.com.
Oct 17th
1 note
On my being assraped by Claw
Rex and Krucoff are going to make fun of me now, aren’t they?
Oct 17th
4 notes
Making friends
My cellmate Claw has never even heard of Tumblr or Gawker! Can you believe that? He probably thinks that Web 2.0 won’t bust. Stupid Claw!
Oct 17th
“Happy happy birthday! I am soooo sad I missed your party, sadly I was busy...”
– Chaya’s comment on Caroline McCarthy’s Facebook wall. Hurry the fuck up Chaya! This Claw guy in my cell is eyeing me like Richard Blakeley eyes a Gawker Media office couch.
Oct 17th
1 note
Answer me this question
How am I supposed to carry out my daily Emily Gould/Mary Rambin threesome fantasy masturbation session when I’ve got a guy named “Claw” snoring in the bunk below me?
Oct 17th
Oct 17th
5 notes